the backside of being an artist

why do you have to go up from bed, have breakfast, go to work?
why can't you have sunshine, a day off and a nice cup of tea with a friend?
so much time just fly away, and I'm still here with two feet on the ground. still I want it to keep on ticking. cause I don't want to be standing here for much longer.
just a couple of weeks left. then it's over and lovely fall starts.

sentimental dreaming

I'm sitting here at work with nothing more to do than watch a movie. The movie is about love, friendship and glamour. lots of glamour. the kind of film that make you want to dream yourself away. into a fantasy land beyond reality. where you can write the story and poke at anything and it will become true. where you are happy ever after and have everything you desires for. comparing with your own life, everything seems so grey and dull, left out from the magic. you want to be somewhere else, need to be somewhere else and because of that feeling you disappear in to a world full of sentimentality. in that world you loose your own life, just for a while. it's kind of scary how deep a film can affect your emotions. then the only thing you can do is to shake off that sentimentality while watching the credits titels and think that your life not really suck. that all you wish for might not be in that movie, in the life the charachters are living, but in reality. in your own life, that your dreams should be in it instead of out of it. to remember that after the show is over, the spotlights turns off and the cast goes home.

I press the button and the dvd opens. I change the film into another one and press play. as long as reality waits for me outside, I can wait for it inside.