spaa..

isn't it just soo refreshing!? xD
loved it just because.

well, sometimes life can need just a touch of a peeling. just a touch of moisturizeing. just a touch of refreshment. we're preparing for a loong winter. next time we need some snacks though. and of course less of the banana hair due!;)though we all loved it in some way...

lovely

this monday was all I wanted it to be. just wanted you to know that.
with love

is there a map somewhere!?

sometimes I wonder how I can live my life. in what directions I can go and what consequenses I would like my life to have. I wonder what achievements I can make and what it will cost to make them. I think about what role I play in other peoples lives and what role I can be making. I think about the possibilites I have and at the same time I wonder what I can or should do. How and what should I do with my life? and is it really my life? but then if it's not my life, but God's how do I do to give Him my life? what do I do to act like he wants and needs me to? and how, how, how do I have to do to figure it out? how I can make his desires for my life come true and more important what does he wants with my life? it's hard because sometimes I just know for certain and sometimes I just can't make the thoughs and questions in my head clear and still. they just spin around like crazy and I don't know how to sort them out. it's a little bit confusing to live with the thought that my life's not my own and that I want somebody else to be in charge of it. I mean it's a lot of trouble when you're suppouse to make decisions in your life and it's not you who have the last saying. and I must admit that it scares me, not just a bit but a lot.and yet it's my highest wish that God will have such place in my heart and life that I just can't make any thing without He being part of it. you get what I mean? I'm not ever sure I do but I guess that's the beauty of the life with God. you never now what direction it will take or how you will do to get there. you've have to be curious and be part of an adventure and be prepared that it's not easy but worth it.

...

where do you get your streangth?

the synonym of

restoration
resuscitation
reinvigoration
revival
resurrection

woha, that's a lot of synonyms. well, do you get what feeling I'm going for? well, today my new contact lenses arrived to my mailbox. and I feel like I was restorated or resuscitated or reinvigorated or what ever you would like it to be. I was now alloud to leave my glasses, my feeling of tiredness and my uncomfortableness on the desk aside of my bed. only if it was that easy. do you sometimes feel like you would like to just take of your insecureness and put it aside when ever you needed it? just like a pair of glasses you didn't like to wear? this morning I was happy to put on my new pair of sunglasses and just hide behind that cool-factor and feel like a celebrity on my way to work. wind in my hair, my high-waist jeans and just that feeling of self-confidence a good-looking day gives you. I'd put one pair of glasses on my night-stand and one other pair on. and suddenly the whole way I'm looking on myself changed. really, I'm not happy to admit that. and I think of myself as a happy and confident girl "in my best days" and it takes a simple pair of glasses to change the way I'm feeling about myself. and to be recognized my glasses is actually quite fashionable. well it's weird. but this past days while I was waiting for my contacts to arrive I hade several minutes to work on myself and my cool-factor. and I know I needed it. call it revival, resurrection or what ever you would like. but everyday I know I have to work a little bit more just to love myself as the way I should. just to feel comfortable the way I am a little bit more. and I know I own God that because he has created me too beautiful to not do so. I'm beautiful the way I am and that's because God intended me to be just that way.

well, ain't I a real cruiser?

I've just realized that I actually can be in a car and make it go forward, backwards and sidewards. and I can actually, manage the car to go those directions without hiting anything or crash into something. and actually today I driven through the whole town!! I'm real proud. just wanted you all to know that this is the most and bigges acomplishment I've made for the moment! :)

well, this day I've been off from work and spendt some time with Kajsa. who are such a sweet person and whom I like very much. thank you for spending time with me :)
also I've experienced that god loves me even if I act in a way he don't like me to do. Samuel Ljungblahd's written a song with lyrics: "How can you keep on loving me when I'm acting like this?" and I believe that's really true. or at least I feel so and it's a question that has been on my mind for several days now. How can he keep on loving me? I'm not acting as I'm suppouse to, I'm not thinking as I'm suppouse to and I'm not loving as I'm suppouse to. and sometimes it feels like I don't deserve any of His love. and that my friends is the beauty of it. really. it might sound crazy but I believe that's what it's all about.unconditional love. and that means that God will keep on loving me no matter how I act. and that's a promise.

aaah

the clever moment have passed. work has become a place where time seems to be almost like it doesn't exists. it just wont travel in any direction. I feel exhausted yet I haven't done anything to exhaust myself. but still my brain feels like it's slept for almost 1098 years. interesting.

now's time to actually be alive and do something active. good. :)
I hope I have better luck this evening.