the red light is on....

....and you are on air

well, it's monday again and I'm so not ready for it. I probably say that every monday but still, this one is kind of painful. but the show must go on, and I'll save resting for my next life, who will be in heaven and it will be awsome. but still, I'm on earth and I have to get up at 6.45 am in the morning. and even if it may not seem that early, I'm spoiled from falufri- wich means sleep until uou wake up... almost. :P anyway, I hope this week will be ok. and I pray that it will be. it's hard to live different and make a change when you are tired and the days just seems to fly by. but I promise I'll do my best. 'cause I want to make a change in my life and in others. and I want to live my life not for me but for god and for others. or something other powerful like so others may live or others first. but like I thought of a few days ago, it's hard to give it up all in one moment, all in one place. just like it is to let go of all control at once. so I got to the conclusion that I can give a peice of my heart and my life, my control and my feelings to god a little bit at the time, and he'll understand. I also realized that let go to god, or just try to understand how big he is, and that he really has the power to do anything, is the most frightning thing I have ever experience. it shakes my whole opininon of life and the whole science foundation you, as a human, build your life and your mind and thoughts on. this weekend my life got a little bit of an earthquake in it. it shooked me and turned my whole world up side down for a short minute. I might tell you about my experience later. but for now I still tries to get that god is who he say he is and that he is capable of anything. so just because I'm so scared to let go, I said to god that I'll have to let go peice by peice, and that is all I dare to right now.