once again I've realized how hard it is to work on yourself. to change from within and not only say you will. I'm not proud to admit it, but I'm not good at it. I can realize things and I can analyze things, but to truly change them is harder. all I ask is how? maybe it's easier than I think, but still it's so hard. to see outside yourself and to take control over your thoughts and actions. to rely on a friend and to make it work. it takes a lot of work to make it function. but less work to be perfect, because I've learnt that you can't be. so why do I try so hard to be it? still, though I try, I won't come any closer to it.
I'm willing to try to change. try to be a better person. try to make things work. my life work, as God intended it to. but I have no idea how. so I can only cry out to God and hope that he love me enough to take me as I am. help me with my life. because I really can't do it on my own. that's the truth.
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