this long and simply wonderful day.

yesterday I had this most lovely time with Kajsa :) it was so nice to spend some time talking and watching friends with you. great! and on top of that, I just love pick-nicks!! :D so thanks for our slumberparty :D

so, today I woke up, watched friends with kajsa, had breakfast and said goodbye to Kajsa. later I watched some more friends, did the dishes and started to clean up erik's appartement. then we had dinner at my grandma's place. very nice and so good food. and also my grandpa was there and he was so happy, and that made us all very happy to see him singing and wistle for him self. but still he was happy :) later rush back home to pack things for the evening. the big Gospel consert at church. it was great! so that was a very nice way to end the day. or almost, we went over to Tesa and Stefan's place to have some BBQ. nice :) and now it's time to end this post and this day so, have a good night sleep :)

a little bit better I hope

I'm sorry but this will really be a messed up post. my feelings are so turned up side down at the moment and I don't know how to make things right. and now things really are a little bit out of control. I don't really know what to do with all this. I've thought about it a long time but I don't know how to make the decition. I don't want them to be hurt or to be angry. And I don't know how to tell them, I mean I haven't been sure for quite a long time. and It's not fare to let them be unconscious about it. I want to make the right decition, the wise and good one. no regrets afterwords. I want everything to be well again an not be how it is for the moment. but I really don't know what to do. maby I'll just decide one, flip a coin. but I think this needs a little bit more thought. oh this is so hard. If I choose one, the other one will be hurt. and then maybe the third one will be angry because... oh this is too messed up! I don't want it like this and yet I can't figure it out. I wish I never woke up this morning. this is so much out of control and I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to do. I'm so sorry but I really don't know what to eat for breakfast!I really don't know!

friendship

nice to have some catching up and just some good soft girl-time. thank you for this lovely lunch Linda! :)
I'm getting tired and it would be nice to have a nap. but it's a little bit weird to be off the entire day. feel like I should do something usful. or at least that I would have done something usful. but maby it's a day just for relax. now I'm gonna have some grapefruit and just enjoy my nice, calm soft friday. and waiting for you to come home.

morning

"I wake up in the morning, feels the sun here on my face" or how it's lyrics is. ^^ anyway. I'm up way earlier than I expected myself to be. I'm at Erik's appartement and Sandra has left the building for Dalarnas Videofestival a couple minutes ago. so now I'll have to make breakfast on my own. but it's kind of nice to be by your self and now that you have your whole day free to do what ever you like :)

should have

today it's raining for real. or really just this annoying small drops of rain slowly falling down and not make things wet until after a while, they just make everything damp. anyway, I thought of taking my green-yellow umbrella and slightly, gorgeous and glamorous take the bus. but of course I missed it. so I went to school by bike. without my wonderful umbrella. well, I didn't have the best of luck, but who has? so now it's time for catching up but all I want to do is be finished. to go away to a nice place without rain and school. that is my wish for the moment. but always look on the bright side of life, said the Monte Python's when they where all hanging upon the cross. and I might have to say the same. otherwise you'll never get happy. so I'm gonna have a nice day anyway. have one too, please :)

going darker than blue

this day didn't start very well. just hope it will end better. for now my body aches and my mind's heavy. just like the clouds upon the sky. how poetical. but isn't it facinating how your mood just turns like the weather? or not only by it, but still. no, now I want to be happy. just as happy as yesterday. is it possible? some people would say of course! and some would not. well days like that you'll just have to see things from above and turn rocks in to dimonds. and sunshine into gold. so I pray that god for the moment just will give me some sunshine and some rocks I can turn into joy. And I would say of course!

and some more

I've got job this summer!! :) just wanted to add that.

oh what a gratitude!

today, I woke up after what I thought was a hundred-years-of-sleep. it was, as usually, hard to get up from bed but I was well-rested. *thanks*
later I went downstairs to make some breakfast. juice and cheese-sandwiches. yum. *thanks*then I sat down at the computer, and saw that I've got the whole morning free from classes. *thanks!* so now I can take it calm and just have the morning as I like. *thanks* I logged in and I find this comment from Julia. it makes me very happy and makes my day. *thanks* and then I look out the window. and I see that summer has wake up. the sun i shining and the birds are singing. *thanks* so what else could this morning be about more than gratitude? sometimes I wonder if my heart is going to explode from all the joy God gives me. I know it's hard a lot of times (!) but still, God has given me a song that my heart can sing. a worship that never ends. it's called gratitude.
so this morning, all I want to say is- thank you

done some changes

just to clean the attic a little bit. and I hope that I can use all of your photos Julia. otherwise I'll have to make it up to you. maybe a cake will do? I would so much like to have slumberparty with you guys again!! :)
but now, I'm gonna go to sleep. so it will have to be another day. love and write to you later.

for now

just gonna resume some of my day. that will do it for now.

joy.breakfast.solitude.sun.frustration.wait.dreams.future.music.
dance.balance.perspective.gratitude.tiredness.expectancy.
the only thing that's missing is you.

been out for a while

well, I haven't written for a while. just been buissy with nothing. and with canoing! the youth group in church have been out for two days paddling at the "dalälven". it was an experience but we had fun :)

anyhow, my imagination right now is not the very best. but I'm alive and feels like life just has started. have a lot to look forward to this week. fun! :)
well, lovely greetings and I write you all later.

let's have a party!!

camera.soundtechnic.balloons.candy.mic.speakers.stuntmen.popcorn.music.director.actors.bloopers.bloopers.bloopers.partyhats.

that's the words whom I'll describe yesterday. :)

today though, not that fun. study.study.study.study.
need to be effective!! wish me luck

a nice but looong weekend

now I'm home after the past days being somewhere else. my entire body hurts after too little sleep and from just not being home. It has been great! really but still it feels good to just take a deep breath. so what's my next move? I don't know. just relax I think. take some quality time. but yet I'm inpatient to do something. strange. I'm exhaused and still restless. not the best combination. I think that I'm too tired to make sense but yet not tired enough to go to sleep. and it's only 6.30 pm. not yet an option.

today have been good. the service at church was wonderful and I'm so grateful to see all the people in my church's hunger for Jesus. the worship was great. honest from your heart, even though I feelt very tired and out of shape. but still God worked in so many peoples lives. love it! :) after that I had some "fika" with my new friends. very nice and so fun to meet such great people. I'm very thankful to you! :)

then, just home, make some dinner and away to my grandpa's place. birthday celebration and playing with cousins. just have to quote Vera (5y.)

"knasboll! det är david som har lärt mig det ordet. jag ska gifta mig med honom för han kan så många busiga ord. och han vill gifta sig med mig med, för jag kan ju också busiga ord."
(Eng; "knasboll! it's david who has tought me that word. I'm gonna marry him because he knows so many goofy words. and he wants to marry me too, because I too knows goofy words.)

just so funny! :)
I want to marry a person who knows funny words too. that's for sure. lol :)

ps. I'm so proud of you girls! love you :)

well,

this night ended up not quite as I thought or wanted it to be. tired and feels like my head is some where waaay beyond my body and my eyes and nose hurts from all the pollens outside. and of just tiredness. of things and of lack of energy. but to all those out there I would like to say. keep up the good work. and right now I would like to pull a big pillow over my head, yes over it-my rolemodel would ofc be joey and the turkey, and try to go away for three seconds. why, just because it's hard to exist some times. or not to actually exist, for that you just have to breath and your body does that atomaticlly, but to keep control of your stormy feelings and to have the streanght to give everything of you to God every day. I feel like this day has been given to God in so many ways, and still I'm exhausted. my body hurts and my heart is tired of the clouds that's hanging around it. though to know that God is always beside you and one step before you makes the sun peek out. and the warm feeling of God's love makes me glad inside. still there's hard. but now when I actually thinks about it. it's totally worth it and I feel like I've not made enough today. so now it will be nice just to lay back with my hot cup of tea and just enjoy my own created solitude before my beloved friends arrives. just me, my cup, the beeping cooler besides Eric's computer and GOD. what a terrific combination!

hair spray!

that was indeed a good movie. nothing else to say. just as dorky, lovely, funny, sweet, warm, toughing, goofy, cleaver, magnificent, stupid and fabulous. and don't you just love Travolta!? ;) hahaha. this day's sunshine of course. otherwise we always has mr efron's love dance. LOL.

well, now it's time for bed. almost though. we're having a party. a slumber one. and we're almost free tomorrow. so maybe the bonus features will guide us through the night singin' I can hear the bells... :)

sleep well and I'll write you tomorrow.
g'night

"room-ates"

well, we're moving in. for only some days though. but still we are now officially room-mates! nice :) after our first "night-sandwich and tea" we spendt kind of the entire night web-caming and writning sandra's speech for today. it went great and she will now have the nobelprice for sure! anyway almost time for school. day's bright and so is my mood. lovely. and a big hug to Jobe of course! can't describe in words. ;) *flum* (!!)
love

a God thing

just held a speech for my class about God. actually a real witness of his actions in mylife and in my friends's life. kind of shaky. :P but it felt great to actually do it. to talk about what's closest to my heart and about what is the greatest in this world. to talk about miracles and wonders small as big and to give God credit for that. praise Him. :)

because the reality can be more unrealistic than you ever could think of when you put it in a God perspective.

oh, and I thought it was monday

well, I'm back blogging after kind of a break up. I've been a little bit apart from my internet this weekend and I really don't know what's the problem between us. He just feels so not present. we decided to take a short time out? no we just grew apart and are now trying to fix the damage. oh, seriously? no I just have forgotten to check my e-mail and FC and blog the last few days. so no feelings where harmed during this weekend. anyway, I was starting the week splendiouslly. but then it turned out that we didn't had any(!) lessons on monday morning and I had gotten out of bed really early to make a cake, like reverent M said-we where suppouse to do a good deed with a packedge of flour this week-he said on sunday meeting, and now it was no good deed to be done because almost my entire class where home sleeping. anyway I put the cake at the teacher's lunch room and hoped that they would enjoy. so therefore this tuesday has felt like monday. not because of the cake but because of my not intended free day yesterday. well, my head is confused but still I'm happy and healthy.
Now, after finishing this really different and special post, I will go down to church to have JOF. nice :)and also nice it's sunshine! :)
so see you!

just a brunette

well, then I've got a new haircut. kind of like victoria beckham, with a little shorter. it might be a little hard to get used to. but I think I'll be found of it :)
no it's time to do some clean up in the kitchen and then go to bed. I'm getting up early tomorrow. early like 5am. we're going to sthlm for my uncle's defending his thesis. it's gonna be really interesting I think. and someday I might be in that situation. who knows. :) anyway... cleaning it is.

just so...

today it's sunshine. and yet I'm so tiried, feeling like I just want to go back to bed. it's kind of strange really. well, I'm sitting here should be writing my English speach. but I do write in English. not a speach though. but what is really the difference? I still have a topic, I still have an introduction. sometimes I have arguements and points and I do have a conclution. so really this could be my speach. a speach about the rights of a speach. ironic. well, today I just hope that the day will go fast. don't want to be in school. ^^ but I have things to do so I guess I'll be staying.

anyway, later on I'll be shopping for our new baby cousin. that will be fun. I'll try to find the most adorable dress or body that has ever been made. :) we are probably going to visit her later today. grandma said she was soooo tiny. usually babies are tiny :) but she is even smaller than babies usually are. anyway, her name is Märta. very cute I think. :)

well, well, well..... time for some serious writing.

tuesday

today it's raining. and the clouds seem to be everywere. but it makes it feel nice to be inside. I would like to buy a new jacket. mine is starting to fall apart. and also I would like to buy a nice flowerly umbrella. so you can be outside in the dull weather and still feel like sunshine. :)

today I've got kind of a soft day. just one lesson in the morning and then one in the afternoon. and between those I've got plenty of time to catch up with some homework. later it's time for JOF with Sara and the kiddos. It's not too far till the performance. butterflies! :) I also went to the place where I want to apply for summer job and left my application and met the VD for the company. feelt good but a little bit nervous. now I just hope that I made a good impression! but I'm excited about this job. and it feels exciting to take, just a small step though, into the grown world.

isn't she lovely

I've got a new baby cousin. and Vera and Stina have got a new baby sister. can't wait to actually meet her!
joy

stockholm!

the weekend in stockholm was great! and of course High School Musical was great!! :) and then in top of that it was the Jesus Manifestation. the whole place was crowded and worship's in every corner. it was increadible to see all the people with red shirts posting out that jesus saves and loves you. 'cause he does! :)
now I'm heading on my golden bike to church.
write you later :)