though I, luckily, know that my blog isn't my life I feel that I've sort of have been ignoring reality both in cyberspace and in real life. why I don't know. just easier to feel the sun on your cheeks, close your eyes and imagine that you are in a fantasyland full of coloured butterflies. to smell the lovely spring and to pretend. just continue without noticing. walk down the street and no one knows who you are. what's your name and when and where doesn't matter. just blend in to the crowd. just be alone. with God. because I know I can't ignore things when God sees me. He knows it already. He's too great not to. with him I don't have to pretend. I don't have any expectations to fulfill. don't need to play a role. put a smile on my face or a small little tear falling down my face. I can just sit. doing nothing. be in his grace. but still I'm ignoring.
