Dancin' in the moonlight

feels great to be exhausted and all swetty again! dance your butt of and just enjoy the music. be focused and coreograph. laugh and play. being silly. cause it's all about dancing. it's all about joy.

my comfort

"I'm running fast and free to you, 'cause you are my home where I wanna be."

when everything else seem to hard, you God are my only comfort. you're the only one who don't change. you are my home.

trust and undeserved love

God, I have one request.
one wish. one pray.
use me as you desire.
help me achive to do your will.
show me how you want me to act.
how to express. what to say.
help me to care for others with your way of love.
to bring your way of thinking in to my life and to others.
to serve in your kingdom. through your love.
please, let my voice reach up to you.

in humbleness and trust.

can't a girl dream?

kiddoz

well, I've been tested this week. my patient has been way tested. that's how it is to work with kids. never a cool moment. their puppy eyes don't get to me now... I've got immunity that's for sure. ;) because of this, I don't have the energy to write anything more. so, bye.

friends

yesterday I went home to Sara and Lydia for some girlsnight. saw their apartement for the first time and once again my fingers started to itch.. I want to decorate my own! soon! but that life has not started for me, yet. it was really nice and we ate rubarb pie and watched "friends" till we dropped. it was nice to have kind of a slumber party. was a long time since I last had one. I guess that you're too busy and that slumber parties belongs to childhood, but every holiday you reexperience the cosy, sweet and exciting girly slumber parties when you stay up all night long and eat lot of unhealthy food. very nice!

otherwise I'm a working woman. but if you're going to pay your driverslicense by yourself you'll have to earn some money. feels a little bit weird though. to be on vacation and still work. I guess I'll get use to it. for now, I miss summer. the warmth and sunny evenings. the feeling of hope and future, and no worries. the smell of strawberries and flowers. pleas god give me that?

well, God seems both very close and yet far away. just like my other very dear friends. a text message away and yet, too far away. the technics haven't quite convinced me on that part. I miss you. the world seem too big and lonely sometimes. then I take my refuge in daydreaming and singing. you and me god. we're the best duet. and at the moment we're a trio. God, myself and Jimmy Needham.

"Oh, Jesus give me more than words."

"Maybe for a minute I can get back to the heart of it
Sure I’ve got zeal, but does love have a part in it?
Passionate words and beautiful phrases
They just don’t mean much if I don’t have Jesus in it"

The attic

when you sometimes has a whole day just to yourself. or at least not doing anything in particular that includes other human beings, you get time to organize your feelings. your thoughts. your mind and heart. you find boxes with old pictures, drawings or stories that you've not seen in a very long time. neither thought of in a very long time. you feel memories flash by in a rush and sometimes you're overwelmed with feelings from the past. you see boxes you first want to take a closer look at, but then you regret and push it further in, further away. you don't want to remember what's inside. while organizing in your attic you can find lots of stuff you have forgotten. your hands get sore and your knees dusty from trying to find all your memories. emotions. thoughts. you have put away lots of thoughts up here through the years. your mind is like an attic. you may not be aware of it or maybe you've lost your key.

for now, I have a lot of feelings and thoughts that I want to put down, carefully in a nice and neat box. put away with love and sentimentality. I also have feelings and thoughts that I just want to throw away. never see again. put in a box and push it hard in to the corner in the very back of my attic. wheather it is one of those two categories it's simple. it's harder when you don't know in what box to put your thoughts. then you've just to take them with you down again. carry them some more. even if you don't want to. consider where you should put them. give the thoughts some time. cause in the attic they'll just collect dust and be forgotten, until you decide to climb the long ladder up there again. it's too soon to put a lable on. the attic will have to wait some more.

music beyond tunes

I listened to mary mary's album the sound while I cleansed my room. the track "boom" started and I just got taken away by this lyrics;

"you don't seem to have a problem when my language is profane,
but you're offended and insulted when I say 'in Jesus name'.
still I close my eyes, I bow my head and fall to my knees.
'cause my conviction is much stronger than my need to please."

no matter what people think or say I want to bow my head and fall to my KNEES and praise Jesus for everything in my life. humble my self cause he's so much greater than I. through all I am whorship Him.

caught again

really need to get this school work done! the countdown has started and summer holiday's on in two days. :) or it would have been if I wasn't so grown up and are going to work for almost the entire summer... yey! but atleast I'll get some money for my drivers license. :)

at the moment I'm just done with an amazing pasta salad that I'm going to bring to our "namibia-group-gathering" this evening. it's finally confirmed that we can go in september! awsome, I'm very very excited. :)) well, while I'm turning my awsome salad I started to think about my very nice homework and how much I'd like it to be done. or at least the last part. over and over again I talk about change, I know.. but never change it though. always pushing the line.. or atleast the deadline. yesterday was a real winner. had all time in the world and still didn't do a thing! just felt miserable and tired.. well, soon school's finished.. or atleast if I'm lucky. now I'm going to give it a try. I'm such a good person :)

listening to Ole Borud. shakin the ground. might be one of the best albums ever.
see ya.

I think I have something going on...

well, I feel very good cause I've been studying all day long. and quite effectivly too. so I know I'm aloud to feel proud. soon I'll head down town to fix my train ticets and then to school. we have a class about making the movie "Hata Göteborg" and the director's coming to visit and answer questions. I'm very excited and think it's gonna be very interesting. later we'll pick up Louice, it's gonna be so nice to meet her again. and I'm very glad she's staying with me. :)
the sun is shining and today I have been eating lunch out on the trampoline acompanied by Vilma and my brother. my legs and face are still sparkling white but I hope that soon'll change. feel the summer's taste and the joy it brings. now I'm gonna change from my jeans shorts and beloved ben&jerry's t-shirt into something more fancy and go on a bike ride along the lake.

it's june and I love it!